Depressing days

Sometime back, I had to go through a minor surgery- to remove my gallbladder (which is a MAJOR thing for me, for anyone I suppose) Following that procedure, it was a time of misery for me ;((

It all started when I had frequent abdominal pains. I thought they might be due to gastritis as I was taking irregular meals and loss of appetite. One Saturday morning, while teaching, the pain became unbearable. I rushed off to see the GP near my place. As I had visited him for a similar ailment couple of weeks back and the pain was excruciatingly increasing, he urged me to go to the nearest A&E. I followed his advice and headed to the nearest hospital. 

Was kept in the observation ward and had tests run. Pain was excruciating that I was tearing for most part of my time there. After a couple of hours, when results were available, the prognosis was either gastritis or gallstones leading to infected gallbladder. The latter  was believed to be likely due to the location of my pain (central top abdomen, more to my right) and my symptoms. Nevertheless, I was allowed to go home after pain subsided (no oral medication as they wanted the gallbladder to ‘rest’)

My follow up  appointment was the following Tuesday afternoon. By then, the pain had been on-off, albeit less intense. During the appointment with specialist, I was sent for CT scan and it was confirmed that gallstones were present in the gallbladder. Was told to be admitted and strongly recommended to go for the op. It was so sudden and unexpected (The pain and lethargy stopped me from researching more about my condition and treatment available) 

I was devastated and helpless- for one thing, there was WORK! I (thought) cannot afford to be away for so long. There was so much to do- pending jobs, follow ups etc etc. Yes, most shamefully, i fallaciously believed I was indispensable at work. The very notion that I used to argue against when friends lamely gave the same excuse, for not being able to meet up, not taking care of health (look who’s talking) or not having time for family etc etc. I could not believe myself when work was momentarily taking precedence over my health. Another reason for my initial reluctance was lack of readiness- to accept condition, to understand need for treatment and inability to make any informed decision. 

Despite my futile refusals, I was admitted. (Husband strongly vetoed all my objections) It was a pain to be in the hospital (first night was spent giving away so many blood samples), a pain to be away from my brood, a pain not being able to take mind off work (office mobile was busy throughout my hospital stay til I had the calls diverted). A quick research online by the husband all pointed to same treatment for my condition- removal of gallbladder. It did not help that the doctors were painting the negative repercussions should I delay the simple and minor surgery. Its such a minor surgery that I was discharged the very next day. 

The time that followed was a painful and reflective one. I had no risk factors leading to the ailment. (Later, I learnt of a girlfriend who still suffers from same complaint, but has opted not to go for any treatment) I am generally ok in terms of health- maybe a little careless when it comes to diet and very lazy regards to fitness, but generally average. I cannot emphasis enough how minor the surgery is (it is a keyhole surgery and is sometimes done as day surgery) BUT, I am now one organ less (albeit a minor one, according to doctors- one we can do without) And like most patients, I kept asking- ‘Why me?’ Initial restriction on diet added to my depressive mood. 

I do not know if I had failed my body or my body failed me. 

It took me a few weeks to get over the situation. I felt so at odds with so many things in my life- primarily work and family. But as usual, I bounced back and now facing challenges of totally different kind. Will keep you all posted ;p

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3 thoughts on “Depressing days

  1. hugs! hope you’re all better now. take care and yes, do exercise!

    but who am i to be telling anyone to exercise – i follow the toddler round the playground and i’m pooped!

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