I decided to quit full-time work, sometime in April, when I got the first inkling that Princess was not coping with school as well I had expected. Being the emotional person, I gave myself some time to ponder over this major (even premature) decision as I had been working for less than 6 months then. The more I paid attention to things at home, the more I realised that I just could not cope with full-time work and minding my brood as well I wanted.
It was not just working late or stressful nature of the job. It took time away from the brood even when I was back home or working from home. Part of my job scope was trainer deployment and to facilitate trainer placement, I had the office mobile. So I was mostly working even I had knocked off from work. I was perpetually mentally occupied or speaking to school clients. I recall numerous occasions when Princess or one of the boys will be asking to speak to me and waiting while I had to be on the mobile regarding work. They’d wait and then walk away when they realise that I was not able to get back to them anytime soon. It was not fair to them.
Then came the minor surgery, in May. Any job or any matter that makes me think health is less important is definitely not worth my while. I expedited my resignation notice although I had told my GM I would leave after a replacement was found. My children needed me more and I needed to feel in equilibrium. Towards the last days, things were getting quite out of hand at home (just a few storms in a teacup 😉 and I felt neither here nor there. I was definitely not giving my best to my brood nor to my job.
The short stint has been a great eye-opener. I told the previous director how this job had cleared a lil of my perpetual rose-tinted glasses and I certainly did not like what I saw ;p I had always ‘taken refuge’ in the children whom I taught. Children keep me safe in this adult world. Stepping out of that safe circle whooshed me away momentarily.
Have learnt so much about people, communicating with them and so much more about myself. What I share following is not solely about my ex-colleagues but people I came into in the course of work.
People do not admit mistakes easily and usually remain blind to own faults- I know that is common knowledge but the extent of what I saw almost daily made me re-wonder my own frequency. And when mistakes are made, people do not dwell on them too much (especially when it is their mistake ;), they move on. I tend to blame myself for many matters- considering how absent minded and sloppy I can be at times- even when I am faultless ;o I still need to learn to step back and focus on rectifying matters. The latter is getting easier.
There have been very kind and considerate people who have made me rethink how I behave towards others. I have seen how efficient people get work done. I have learnt to be more patient, less judgemental, be more outspoken when necessary, among others.
Reading between the lines is SO NOT for me! This is why I rather interact and work with children, who are more direct. I have always been told that I speak well. Speaking well is so not the same as effective communication. Well, I knew that long ago especially since I am not always in the same frequency as most people ;D
Having a system- Ahh, this is the biggest and most treasured lesson. I first heard the term when the former director mentioned how I need more time to settle in the job. But me being OTOT person, who embraces spontaneity and firmly believes in serendipity- having a system will be oxymoronic. Yet, I have learnt that it is not always about me. The way I work affects others. And I always felt bad when others were adversely affected by my lack of system.
I now realise one can be spontaneous while internalised with a system. I am still in the process of instilling a system for myself, my daily life and family. My children need me to have a system cos ultimately they are affected by my actions.
Having learnt such and so much else, I now gladly return to being a stay-at-home mum (SAHM) with the sole intention of giving my brood undivided attention. I am not considering any teaching offers as I just want to focus on my family.
Its another journey I am undertaking- one that again throws caution to the wind. Look forward to sharing my adventures with you all… ;)))